The Aussie Menace

We call her the “Aussie Menace”

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Sure, she looks all sweet and innocent…. but behind that sweet puppy face and fluffy floppy ears is the soul of an animal.  Yes, she has tasted human blood…. and she regrets nothing.

HMA California Girl according to the Cattle Stock Dog Registry she is Callie for short.  Her papers claim she is a Mini Australian Shepard

She is a stunning example of Heterochromia… common to her breed to have eyes of different colors…. One brown.  One Blue

But I call it her ‘zombie eye’ and it creeps me out.    It can look deep into the soul.  She can mesmerize me.  Manipulate me.   Compel me to buy her mass quantities of doggie toys and chewies.

The menace……..  creating havoc in my home…. total chaos… dogs and cats living together…….

So I signed her up for Puppy obedience School.    And I bought her this cool harness

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But turns out this is some kind of mensa mind warp puzzle because I cannot figure out how to put it on her.  Of course it doesn’t help that she is not yet grasped the “STOP” command and is busy wriggling around like a fish on a hook.  I even looked up a YouTube video to figure out how to put it on her.   Come on YouTube guy… you are demonstrating on a stuffed dog.  Let’s see YOU try it on a wriggling puppy.

This week she got her first FooFoo.  Auntie Stacey had her come into her Beauty Shop and gave her a mani-pedi and a shampoo.

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When I was getting ready to leave we were surrounded by a group of little kids who wanted to pet her.

I screamed   GET AWAY FROM MY DOG SHE TRIED TO EAT MY GRANDSON’S EAR!!

No, of course I didn’t say that… I just had them all sign a waiver of responsibility and then I allowed them to pet her.   Then came the questions:  Why was one of her eyes blue and one brown?  Can she see okay?  Do both of them work?  So I sat down and drew a Flowchart of how genetic traits work and how there is a lack of melatonin in her blue eye and how this is common for her breed.    And I told them about the Zombie eye and how she can see into your soul and compel you to allow her to lick your face with her Aussie Tongue of Slime

Look at my pretty Aussie Menace   Puppy Dog!!!

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