Meet Kimberly! She is from Mineapolis but she hates the cold! She is 46 years old and married 20 years with a 17 year old son By day she works as an executive assistant and as a yoga teacher, blogger, heretic/Jesus lover/skeptic by night! Kimberly and I are members of the Clumsy Blogger Workshop Community which is both an educational course on writing and a group of Bloggers lending encouragement, inspiration and support (both technical and of the constructive criticism variety)
2.) I do miss Christianity sometimes. At Christmas it can be a little painful. Easter some melancholy sneaks in. In Christianity there were always action steps in times of trouble: pray, fast, tithe, believe. So now when life shits on me I simply have to take it. I have to breathe and work it out.
3.) Yet living in the doubt, mystery and uncertainly is much calmer than anything I ever experienced with a God. With God life was volitale. There was so much fear and never “the peace that passes all understanding”. Ever. I always feared what he’d do to me to refine me and strengthen my faith. So many unanswered prayers. So much terror and trauma. The bible’s words of “comfort” never rang true. Saying, “I don’t know – and neither do you.” is my truth. Speaking those words for the first time was the most honest statement of my life.
4.) I was fully a Christian. It’s hurtful and flat out rude when you assume I wasn’t all in when I was in the church. I understand you speak with fear that what happened to my faith could happen to you or someone you love, so you need to find a blaming reason as how it could occur. I know you believe that if you say the Sinner’s Prayer correctly, and with an honest heart, that the Holy Spirit comes into a person and won’t leave. I understand your conclusions, but you’re wrong. I was a Christian by any definition.
5.) I’m still open to everything. If a deity exists then I’m welcome for it to come to me. I’m curious as to where my journey will take me. Nothing is off limits. But admittedly…I can’t imagine going back.
Note From LeAnn: I always admire and support people who have the courage to live their truth. I know, dear readers, that my shift from the silly and the funny on to some deeper topics might be jarring for you and I hope you will follow along. There is much to learn from each other about different perspectives and lives that take a different path from our own. I am fascinated with learning about the greater world around me. I feel a greater affinity with all people as I understand that everyone has their unique and beautiful and painful story. There is so much to learn about life and love when we accept those around us and expand our own horizons. More often than not I find, as I have with Kimberly’s story, that I have more in common with her point of view than I would have expected.