Posted on March 18, 2017
Yesterday was St Patrick’s Day! WOO HOO!!
In honor of the day, Lauren & I cooked a mostly traditional Irish meal of Corned Beef and cabbage. Kinda. The recipe called for a can of Guinness. Now, neither of us are beer drinkers but we were willing to give it a try and in the spirit of the day got a few cans for the corned beef and also for some beer bread Lauren was going to make.
So we open the can of beer and when we are measuring the beer for the bread Lauren hears something in rattling around in the can of beer. (insert very scary music) Of course our imagination runs away with us as we wonder if we really want to know WHAT THE HECK IS IN THIS CAN or just throw away all of our food and try not to think about the mouse in our can of beer
Or the severed finger in our can of beer
or the TEENSY WEENSY SPIDER in our can of beer
Or even THIS
But, before we freaked out completely the more sensible person in the room, Lauren, Googles this and we discover that GINNESS puts a PING PONG ball in the can so the foam comes out in the best possible way
So we settled ourselves down and finished cooking and ended up with a lovely corned beef and some potatoes and balsamic roasted brussel sprouts (aka tiny little cabbages) and green bread.
And she even made Thin Mint Brownies for dessert. But I didn’t take a picture of that because only self obsessed people post pictures of their food.
Posted on December 10, 2016
I know it has been a very long time since my last post and I will certainly bring you all up to date on everything that has been going on in my life.
But first I am going to need something from all of you!
Can you do that for me?
In return I will try to bring you the funny. The weird. Cat pictures. Et Cetera Et Cetera
I will promise to be real with you: This is not the best time in my life and I am not going to even try to pretend like it is. But I miss writing And I miss YOU!
So here is your part: I need you to comment on my posts here and there. The more the better but every once in awhile because that helps motivate me more than anything. You can comment on the blog or you can comment on the Facebook page. Or you can just do a Thumbs Up!
But please do comment! Please sign up for notifications. If you already are signed up, please let me know.
(Climbing back into the saddle….. again…..)
Posted on July 4, 2016
I was going to write a post about how I am doing with my job search but I depressed myself. So, instead, here is my list of 5 Things I Love About Being Unemployed:
#5 Gotten all those pesky errands run. (Which includes moving my sad little 401k into another financial institution because nothing feels better than realizing you should have gotten a job with a 401k 20 years ago)
#4 Get to sleep in. In theory. So far the latest I have slept was 7:45.
#3 Re-organized most of my house. At least once, sometimes twice. Tried to organize my cats. First by age (Layla, Figaro, Josie, Thor, Luna, Salem) Then by Size (Layla, Figaro, Thor, Salem, Josie, Luna). I tried to sort by color but they are all different (Layla: Tortie, Figaro: Tuxedo, Thor: Ginger, Josie: Calico, Luna: Gray, Salem: Black) Then by eye color…..
#2 Finally got caught up on all those TV shows I never knew I wanted to watch. This includes the live feed of Big Brother (FYI right now Victor is working out, James is in the shower, and everyone else is in the bathroom yawning.)
#1 Get to take a nap every day. That is the best.
SOMEONE PLEASE HIRE ME! I NEED TO WORK!!
Posted on June 25, 2016
“Skin In The Game” is a term coined by investor Warren Buffet referring to a situation in which high-ranking investors use their own money to buy stock in the company they are running (Investopia) Today this idiom also refers to having a personal investment in something or being connected to someone who embodies a type or a concept.
I often see what seems to be a disconnect between ideologies expressed on social media (well, everywhere really) between the abstract concept and the living, breathing person who that concept represents. This is hitting me hard today because I have become one of those living, breathing people recently. Now it is personal. I am a freeloader. Yep. I am receiving government assistance (well I hope to anyhow. It has been a month already and I have yet to see a check). I am sucking the teat of the American Taxpayers. And I am not proud of this to be sure. I only say this now so everyone can put a face to that term. I want you to put Skin in the Game. Like all of my co-freeloaders there is a story behind how I got here. My story is probably more socially acceptable than most and so maybe you don’t catagorize me that way. I don’t look like one of ‘those’ people. Not yet anyhow. I believe that we are all able to get through our every day lives because we are able to look past how much our lives teeter on the edge of disaster. We just don’t think about it. How could we go about our days if we really embranced the possiblility of a car crash every time we drove or thought about what disease is growing in our bodies. Could we deal with being a stay-at-home parent if we realized that our income earning spouse could leave us high and dry tomorrow? Could we enjoy a dinner out if we realized that we could lose our job tomorrow and not be able to find a new one? Is it just too scary to have empathy for those FreeLoaders because we can’t face the thought that we could become one?
I was continuously employed for 36 years. And in an instant I was transported to the Land of The Unemployed. I was married for 15 years and instantly transformed into a Single Parent and the spouse of a gay man. I am blessed that my family would never allow me to end up on a freeway off ramp begging. I am blessed that my upbringing taught me about having a strong work ethic and taking care of myself and my own. I am blessed that my brain is healthy so I can think clearly. I am blessed that my addiction to food doesn’t cause me to hurt anyone but myself. I was blessed to have a mom who could babysit my kids for free so I could work without paying childcare. But I didn’t really earn these blessings. I was blessed with them. I could just as easily be raised in an environment where I did not learn that I had any value. I could have found myself with those two little children and no way of earning an income and no family to fill in the gap. What if I could only find a job that didn’t pay enough to cover child care– would I have stayed home to raise my children even when that meant using food stamps?
And about those illegal immigrants. Someone explain to me how people can recognize that living in a cardboard shack on the edge of a Tijuana dump is such a horrible living situation that they are willing to go build houses there but that same person is not willing to understand why those same Tijuanans are willing to do whatever it takes to care for their families? Even if that means breaking the law. I have worked with many hard working men who were not legal and wanted more than anything to become legal but could not navigate the system which is not set up to help them do the right thing. By the way, those men paid into the tax system and the social security system but the will never be able to reap those benefits. If you had Skin in the Game would you see them as criminals or people fighting to give their families a home that is safe and clean and has food on the table? Would you do anything less for your children?
I am part of a very large network of Christian moms who have LGBT children. I am proud of this group. We struggle to incorporate our Church community that tells us we cannot accept our children for who they are and still retain our faith. We are allowed to love the sinner, but we must reject the person. Some of us feel forsaken by the Church because we love our children and we love other people’s children who love our children. See, we have Skin In The Game. I know that, on first glance this may be seen as just accepting a sinful lifestyle because we feel forced to in order to have a relationship with our kids. But that isn’t it. It is because when our kids came out to us the LGBT community ceased to be merely a faceless concept and became real, living, breathing people. All of them. Not just our kids. They became our family. Our kids and our friends’ kids became connected to us.
I know that being funny is my usual spiel and I am really going out on a limb here to deviate into the serious and possibly offensive— but I feel passionate about this so it is worth the risk that some people will find my words just too corrosive. It is worth it to me, right now, to take this little stand in order that some people will spend a little time re-thinking their point of view. If you know me, you KNOW me. You know what I am like. Now you might know some things I feel strongly about that you didn’t know before. More than anything now you Have Skin In The Game. And you will always have my face attached to those words and concepts. And I count that as a pretty good thing.
Updated on June 24, 2016
Being fired “Let Go” feels a lot like being dumped by your spouse. It does for me anyhow. It starts out with a man looking at you and explaining that while there isn’t anything really WRONG with you, there isn’t anything really RIGHT about you either. And he is going to go a different direction. This is confusing to say the least. Coincidently the break up of my marriage and the break up of my employment both happened on the Friday before Memorial Day. I am always a little sensitive on this day anyhow and I have a feeling this isn’t going to help any.
And every morning so far I have dreamed about my job in various ways: I am still working there but someone else is in my office. A few days ago I had a dream where I was still going into the office and working all day- every day- but on my own stuff. And finally someone came over and said “You don’t work here anymore you need to stop coming in here”. Ala Office Space Red Stapler guy.
I keep waking up at 5:00am because my brain hasn’t gotten the message that we can sleep in now. As soon as my eyes open the brain starts buzzing about what I need to do and so I get up and get dressed etc and walk the dog wearing my new shoes and then start my job hunt for the day.
Job hunting in the year 2016 is not like it was the last time I was looking for work, which was actually BEFORE THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED in 1980. Now most of the kind of jobs I look for are applied for online via various employment search engines like Monster or Careerbuilder or Indeed (my favorite). And even the ones on Craigslist don’t tell you what company is seeking an employee- they just want your resume sent. It is a LOT of pressure for this short, but concise, document. I had a longer, less concise document but Monster’s Free Resume Critique service said “OH MY GOSH YOUR RESUME IS WAAAAY TOO LONG NO ONE IS GOING TO READ ALL THAT!”
There are a lot of similarities to online dating, which I admit I tried many moons ago before I decided I really didn’t need to invite strangers to reject me on an ongoing basis. First you put together your profile (resume) which paints a glowing picture of how amazing you are. It stops just short of a perfection. This is necessary because everyone is doing this and so your prospective love interest (employer) has to have room to allow for hyperbole and adjust accordingly. Here is a handy visual representation aka an Infographic.
So every morning I get up and make the virtual rounds of all the places that might have a new job posting. And I send out my resumes. And I send out a nice cover letter that lets them know that I really really want to work for them and here are some little tidbits that show that I have looked into their company (if I know who it is) and at least have a small clue of what they do there (stalking). For example I applied at a company that does training for Upset Recovery and discovered that this means that they teach pilots what to do if the poop hits the fan. Who Knew? You learn something new every day, as my Mother used to say.
Every fiber of my being wants to shout “ME!! ME!! PICK ME!! LOVE ME!!! I will do anything you want. Hey, I will keep a candy jar filled on my desk for you!! I will do your laundry. Walk your dog. Paint a mural on your kids’ bedroom wall” Wait, that last one was something I pathetically actually did for a the last guy I dated. In 1999. Yeah.
And then for whatever reason the prospective love interest (employer) makes a decision to pursue you or not. For me, in the case of the online dating, it was almost always not. So far, in the case of the online job hunting, it has also almost always been not. This is very frustrating. I didn’t post a picture (which I imagine is usually what killed the online dating) so I don’t know why they are not interested. Of course I have an Excel Spreadsheet of the particulars so that I know when about 5 days has passed to send out a little virtual note reminding them that I am still here! Hello prospective employer? Remember me? Experienced? Trustworthy? Cool person to have in the office? Candy? Mural? And there is, of course, a column in my Job Search Spreadsheet to report to the EDD just in case they ever decide to send me an unemployment check. Dear EDD: Here is a list of all the companies who rejected me this week. May I have more porridge, please?
I have found a wonderful new place to work on my job hunt. This is necessary because, while I have a great home office, I also have this:
So I have been heading over to my sister’s house which feels like an amazing oasis of calm and productivity because it is toddler free so it is quiet and clean. She also has a very nice coffee service area set up (I swear this is really how her counter looks every day)
And amazing snacks
(I ate all her Cocoa Puffs….. shhhhhhh)
Updated on June 21, 2016
Here is a quick update on my life: Still unemployed. Blah Let’s talk about that later.
Meanwhile, it IS Tuesday which means a Haiku is in order. Yesterday I returned from Utah. Hence my topic. Let us begin.
We All Travel To Utah
To Cedar City
Utah Streets Are Weird
The Addresses Have No Name
Just Two Compass Points
Google Maps Says “NO”
Find Street That Does Not Exist
And So I Get Lost
But I Get To See More Sites
And Cows, Sheep, Horses
Then We Have This Mess
A Scary Intersection
They Want Me To Die
There Is A Lighthouse
In The Middle Of The Town
Why Is That Thing There?
I Ask Many Utah Peeps
No One Seems To Know
Have They Not Seen This?
And Wondered Why It Is There?
Hello? Utah Peeps??
Blessings To The Bride & Groom
(More On That Later)
We Will Be Back In THREE WEEKS!
A New Bride & Groom!
Cedar Is Pretty
And The People Are Friendly
The Birds- Not So Much!
Posted on June 2, 2016
When we last left our intrepid “Set Free” hero she was about to embark on a spontaneous adventure the likes of which she had never experienced.
Early Saturday morning I was picked up by my driver (aka my Daughter In Law) and whisked away to Las Vegas. Accompaning us were my son and sister. Along the way we listened to a mix tape they had put together that started out with “Take This Job And Shove It” and went downhill from there. It was loads of fun to sing along. We all had a lot of steam to let off: My daughter in law is also unemployed and there is a lot of stress to both my son and sisters jobs. We were all ready to be bawdy and silly and goof off. Which is exactly what we did.
In addition to the mix tape Jericho had also bought bright feather boas (which shed feathers all over the place), minion eyeglasses for herself and for me a button that said “Happy $&*%^ It Weekend” and a Grumpy Cat Hat. By coincidence I had worn a shirt they had gotten me for mothers day that featured a cat calling down lighting from the skies. So I looked a tad bit odd.
Here is proof:
(I am not angry, selfies take alot of concetration) There may have been an excessive amount of alcohol consumption that night. I am not a drinker so for me this meant a sum total of two drinks: A champagne cocktail and some sort of rum drink with pineapple in it. We toasted our various current and former employers ala the song “I Pray For You” (CLICK HERE FOR LYRICS)
Saturday morning we got off to a great start when I put $5.00 in a nickel slot machine and hit a $817.50 jackpot. I didn’t even realize how much it was until Brandon came over and wondered why I wasn’t more excited. It was a Wheel of Fortune type and from the angle I was looking at it I thought it was 150 coins when it was actually 15,000 coins. That was really awesome and I came home with most of it less one celebratory dinner and a pair of good walking shoes.
Here is proof
In all the excitement I had almost forgotten that I had to submit a story I had written to an online Writer Competition. I have never done that before. It involved letting a bunch of anonymous people critize your work and make suggestions. It was a really cool experience. It was good to see what other people ‘got’ from what I had written. I don’t figure on winning and that is perfectly fine. It is a learning experience for me. I will let you know how that ends up. The judges critique and all the stories are published online. Anyhow I remembered at the last minute but luckily my favorite IT Yoda Master was with me and he helped me get it from my phone to my tablet. I am a bit of a techno geek having a desktop, 2 laptops, a tablet and a kindle fire. And I am just learning how to use Drive and Evernote so I can access everything from anywhere. Anyhow…..
After walking several hundred miles up and down The Strip in 10000 degree heat I realized that I am horribly out of shape. I pretty much knew that but after wandering around the M & M Store and hunching down on a display so I wouldn’t pass out I was positive that now that I have some “Set Free” time it is a good time to get some exercise in. So I made sure we stopped at the outlet mall outside of Vegas and got some good shoes. My dog is thrilled!
It took 6 solid hours of drive time to get home because there were a lot of people who, apparently, didn’t realize we didn’t want to spend the day in bumper to bumper traffic but we had our mix tape and lots of snacks and Brandon’s Pandora (lots of Redneck humor) we survived.
I feel really so very grateful for my wonderful family and all the support I have gotten over this past week.